It’s interesting,

and by ‘interesting’ I mean scary,

how a female’s position

goes from feral predator

to fearful pray in

.7 seconds

Calm down, boi

 

I’m sure I eat enough 

Look at this dude all jacked up 

Do I say I’m jealous 

I don’t wanna be dangerous 

 

I just want to get home safe 

Without being forced into this race 

My legs are weaker and smaller 

How do I get away 

  

I wish I was a soldier 

I wish that I could turn time back 

And reclaim my happiness 

  

I wish that I had monster stats 

At least then men would be afraid 

Eye for an eye, fear for a fear 

I wish I could stop time 

  

You bet I jab and cross a ton 

Look at me getting all buff 

It’s kill or be killed, toughen up 

I don’t wanna fight or run 

  

I just wanna get home safe 

But I can’t protect myself, this state 

Put a shipping ban on Mace 

What’s a dame without pepper spray 

  

I wish I was a soldier 

I wish that I could turn time back 

And reclaim my happiness 

  

I wish that I had monster stats 

At least then men would be afraid 

Tooth for a tooth, tear for a tear 

I wish I could stop time 

  

I wish they’d all just disappear 

Eye for an eye, fear for a fear 

I don’t wanna fight, I’m scared 

I don’t wanna die out here 

  

I wish I was a soldier 

I wish that I could turn time back 

And reclaim my happiness 

  

I wish that I had monster stats 

At least then men would be afraid 

I wish I could turn time back and reclaim 

My naiveté 

  

I wish I was a monster 

I wish I was a monster